My abusive ex banned me from breastfeeding and strangled me while I held our newborn baby – do the vital check I didn’t

AN EX-BOYRFRIEND who strangled his terrified girlfriend as she held their new child little one and banned her from breastfeeding simply because he was “jealous” has been caged.

Alexis Flavin, from Cardiff, feared for her lifestyle as sicko Johnathan Cole wrapped his palms around her neck when she lay in mattress with their toddler daughter.

Alexis, 39, has urged all women to check their partner's history under the Clare's Law scheme


Alexis, 39, has urged all women to check their partner’s history beneath the Clare’s Legislation schemeCredit history: Focus Capabilities
Cole was sentenced to 19 months behind bars


Cole was sentenced to 19 months driving barsCredit: Aim Options

It marked the close of Cole’s twisted marketing campaign of physical and emotional abuse – from destroying scan photos to blocking Alexis from little one teams.

The manipulative-ex had originally wormed his way into the young mum’s existence when they had been “just close friends” following aiding out with her kids.

Alexis advised Wales On-line she was not “silly or naive” to drop for Cole, after he utilized “appreciate bombing” to reel her in.

But, the relationship took a dim flip as he began to degrade her with “gaslighting, manipulation” and isolation from close friends and family.

“He did not like me owning male close friends, even even though it was purely platonic,” claimed Alexis.

“He gradually isolated me from all my relatives – I could not even talk to my teenage daughter without having him complaining.”

Cole acquired down on a person knee in 2021, and Alexis found out she was pregnant two weeks afterwards.

When she was hesitant about her companion, she stayed with him for the sake of the baby.

Soon after a scan, Cole was “crying with joy” but then flew off the take care of guiding shut doorways and ripped up the sonogram.

“My complete pregnancy was ruined, he’d blow scorching and chilly, a single moment he was loving, the upcoming he’d become hostile,” Alexis additional.

The psychological turmoil was manufactured even worse for Alexis owing to prior miscarriages and her pregnancy being higher risk.

She claimed: “I just required him to assistance me and be a dad to our toddler.”

But, Cole failed to clearly show up for the start and Alexis ended the tumultuous romance.

The young mum nevertheless required her baby to have a romance with their father and permitted visitations.

Irrespective of remaining divided from her twisted ex, Alexis claimed the abuse failed to halt.

“He was nonetheless quite controlling he did not enable me breastfeed for the reason that he was jealous,” she explained.

“It was nuts but at the time, he had received into my head and I just went together with almost everything. I wasn’t permitted to go to any little one groups in case I achieved a man there.”

The abuse culminated just one morning in June 2023, when Cole had been allowed to sleep on Alexis’ sofa.

When he was awoken by the little one keep an eye on at all-around 5.30am he turned enraged and released his assault.

Alexis recalled: “I experienced the infant on my upper body, and he lunged at me, his hands round my throat.

“I could not scream, I could not breathe. I thought he was heading to kill me. I was terrified of shifting for the reason that I realized I experienced to retain my little one harmless.

“She was searching up at me, and I understood I had to get out of it alive, for her sake.”

The terrified mum rang the police and Cole fled the scene in advance of currently being arrested shortly later on.

Alexis had to be addressed by paramedics and her injuries were being so severe she could not swallow.

“My ears ended up ringing, and I was extremely dizzy. I experienced to use a hoodie to hide my accidents from the young ones,” she mentioned.

The mum-of-4 has because issued an urgent warning to other girls.

She stated: “I felt so susceptible, as a new mum, heading by means of the court docket situation and observing my baby’s dad jailed.

“But it was the proper thing to do. I know now he bullied me to the position where by I had no self confidence and I approved every thing he did to me.”

Alexis said Cole is now “the place he belongs”, at the rear of bars, and she has learnt the ability of her individual self-truly worth.

The mum urged everybody to do a history examine on new companions by means of a approach called Clare’s Law.

“It’s so important, when you welcome a new associate into your household, to do the required checks. If I’d recognised about Clare’s Law, I would have located about his earlier,” she included.

“I held thinking he would change for the sake of our infant but now I know he will hardly ever change at all. I’d urge all girls to use Clare’s Regulation to verify on a new partner.”

Clare’s Regulation is a scheme which lets the police to launch information and facts about any preceding historical past of violence or abuse a human being may possibly have.

Persons can implement for information about a present or ex-spouse if they get worried they are at chance.

Information can also be launched to a anxious close friend or relative who is anxious about someone else.

The law was handed following the horrific killing of mum Clare Wooden, who was murdered by her ex-boyfriend.

The 36-yr-previous of Salford, was strangled and established on fireplace by George Appleton, 40, right after assembly him on Facebook.

Cole, who has 14 past convictions for 16 offences, was sentenced at Cardiff Crown Court docket for intentional strangulation.

It was the third time the abuser had been referred to as ahead of the bench for domestic violence.

Defence barrister Kevin Seal, stated Cole acknowledged responsibility for the “quick-lived” attack and claimed his customer has since sought assist for his actions.

Choose Jenkins informed the courtroom Alexis’ injuries seemed “really horrible” and the “supreme act of cowardice” was “much too really serious” for a suspended sentence.

Cole was slapped with 19 months driving bars and a 5 calendar year restraining order to maintain him away from Alexis.

Alexis has been given help from SUTDA – Stand Up To Domestic Violence.

How you can get help

Women’s Support has this assistance for victims and their people:

  • Always maintain your mobile phone close by.
  • Get in contact with charities for support, which include the Women’s Support live chat helpline and solutions this kind of as SupportLine.
  • If you are in risk, call 999.
  • Familiarise on your own with the Silent Resolution, reporting abuse devoid of talking down the cellphone, in its place dialing “55”.
  • Normally continue to keep some dollars on you, like adjust for a shell out telephone or bus fare.
  • If you suspect your lover is about to assault you, try to go to a reduce-threat spot of the dwelling – for instance, wherever there is a way out and obtain to a telephone.
  • Stay clear of the kitchen area and garage, the place there are possible to be knives or other weapons. Steer clear of rooms wherever you might come to be trapped, these types of as the lavatory, or exactly where you could possibly be shut into a cabinet or other smaller area.

If you are a ­victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open up Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s electronic mail support ­service is open weekdays and weekends throughout the crisis – [email protected] isles.

Women’s Assist provides a stay chat service – out there weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.

You can also connect with the freephone 24-hour ­National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.

Alexis was left with nasty bruising from the strangulation


Alexis was remaining with awful bruising from the strangulationCredit: Focus Functions
Cole had been hauled before a court three times for domestic violence


Cole experienced been hauled ahead of a court three occasions for domestic violenceCredit history: Concentration Options
The mum-of-four has since discovered her own self-worth and knows she did the right thing


The mum-of-four has since discovered her individual self-really worth and is aware of she did the right issueCredit rating: Concentrate Attributes

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